Jiffy Pop Madness

Jiffy pop was given to mankind directly from Lucifer himself. No way could a human mind conceive of such torture...

Fun to pop my ass...

:(

She's going to break up with me. I can't even joke around with her like we usually do without it grating on her nerves. We're not going to survive a week of not talking. She's going to realize that I'm not worth it anymore, and leave. She's going to see how much happier her life is without me, and she's going to be gone.

TMI Tuesday (on Wednesday) V (Wednesday in Europe version)

1. Leather, lace or silk?
Lace, by far. Silk is too slippery, and leather is too cow-y, although the latter is best for bondage situations I suppose.

2. Do you subscribe (or regularly buy) to any "dirty" magazines? Which ones?
I think that I would be too self-conscious to ever buy a single magazine, let alone make regular purchases or subscriptions. Besides that, I actually don't have a desire to... at all.

3. Have you ever had sex in water (tub/pool/lake/ocean)?
No I have not. I don't really have a desire to either... why do these questions keep invoking thoughts of mal-desire in me?

4. The three words that best describe you in bed are ____, ____, and ____. Three words that best describe your most recent partner in bed are ____, ____, and ____.
Let me think... best describe me in bed... I honestly couldn't tell you. You would have to ask Izzy; she knows better than I do. For Izzy though? Umm... luscious, adventurous, and surprising. Good combination if you ask me.

5. Did you lose your virginity as an impetuous youth, "to prove that you loved" him/her, because of a romantic gesture, a newly wed or other (please describe because I can't think of what an "other" might be)?
None of the above. Not even other... To be perfectly honest, I never really considered myself to posses "virginity". It wasn't anything that effected my decision to have sex. I never had to grapple with wanting to have sex, but not wanting to lose my virginity, or not wanting to regret it or anything like that. It was always just an issue of "should we have sex" sort of thing, completely separate from virginity.

Bonus (as in optional): Name three words that:
a) get you excited
"Hey look, stairs."

b) make you squirm
"Are you game?" :P

c) make you laugh
"Interpretive moss dance", in a very longing-reminiscent sort of laugh.

TMI Tuesday (on Wednesday) IV

1. What's the sexiest type of underwear?
Whatever Izzy happens to have on at the moment... although the nothing kind is preferable. :P

2. Would you/have you ever paid money for sex?
I wouldn't and haven't. I actually don't think that there's anything inherently wrong with the practice, I just don't think it would be my cup of STD.

3. Is facial/body hair sexy or no? (Moustache, chest, etc. for men, and underarms/legs for women.) Or do you frankly not care?
I frankly don't care. I think that if you can't see past a little bit of hair and still think somebody is sexy, you have issues.

4. What is the strangest thing you've ever seen featured in pornography?
Sex machines. I once saw a video of one that had wheels; they drove it down a road, with a girl on it being fucked by a dildo attached to a machine that pumped it. Very bizarre.

5. What's worse, not enough sex or too much? Is there such a thing as "too much"?
I don't actually have an answer to this. I think that both can be equally bad; you just have to strike a balance.

Bonus: What's the most illegal thing you've ever done (that you can admit to, at least)? Were you caught?
I steal things all the time, but have yet to be caught a s-wait. I stole a piece of jerky when I was about 6 years old that I got caught for. I had to return it. It sucked.

...

There are far too many flies in my home at the moment. It's insane. They are invading my living space, and although I don't notice them most of the time (on account of accustomization), sometimes they really start to piss me off.

They come from a pond we have in our front yard. It's kind of two-tiered, made from a coffin liner sunk into the ground, and then at the head of that earth-indentation, there is a bathtub sitting perpendicular. The bottom pond is alright, but the top pond lies nearly empty; stagnant. It collects flies. Well, fly larvae to be more precise. The fish in the coffin/pond eat the larvae, but the top is empty of fishy life. It used to stay baby-fly-free by way of pump, which circulated water from the bottom-most pond up through a tube, into the bathtub pond, and then back, through a spout, into the bottom pond again. The pond pump, as you probably have guessed, broke some time ago.

The problem will soon be solved though. We have a screen door now, which effectively screens out flies. Who would have guessed, eh? Also, we have put in a new pump. This came with a fountain that my mother made. It is composed of two plant pots. It does not work well. The water all flows out of one side. It is not interesting.

TMI Tuesday (on Wednesday) III

Welcome to the first TMI in which I can actually answer ALL of the questions. Excellent!


1. Who was your childhood hero?
My mother has always been my hero, which I realize sounds so terribly cliched, but it's the truth. She had me when she was really young, and in a terrible situation, but she did a tremendous job of pulling herself out of it and into a better place in her life for me. It took a lot of courage to go through everything she did, and I will always respect and look up to her for that. She fights hard for everything she believes in, but isn't afraid to change her mind about something if she sees a new side to an issue, and is amazingly supportive. She's definitely my hero.

2. Have you ever had sex with someone who has a myspace page?
Yes. Yes I have. We totally did it. :P

3. What fantasies have you openly told your partner about?
When I first read that I thought "partner" was "parent". Let's just say I was seriously weirded out. I don't think I really have fantasies. Well, I've always fantasized that she would

4. Have you ever said you love someone but didn't mean it?
Not consciously. Every single time I've told somebody I love them I meant it fully and completely at the time. Whether or not I was lying to myself, I do not know, but I have never said it and not meant it.

5. Have you ever woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you?
Ummm... I've forgotten I was somewhere when I woke up, but I knew the person, eh, so that doesn't count.

Bonus (as in optional): Do you remember a time when you were having sex that you smile or even laugh about now? Do tell....
Teehee... on a Betty Boop blanket. She's dressed up as Dorothy too, and her dog as Toto. Betty Boop, not the person. That'd be some weird role playing... It was also in very cramped quarters on the floor of my room. Ridiculously cramped quarters, to be more precise. It worked though, obviously.

HNT Tribute

My love is in surgery right this very moment. It's a complex procedure, that basically involves them removing the top plate of her mouth entirely out of her head, fixing it, then placing it back.

I am terrified. I don't honestly know how I would handle her dying. The realization of the possibility hadn't really sunk in until this morning when she called at 6:30 to tell me that she was leaving for her appointment. And then again, when she got there, before she met her anesthesiologist. I am honestly terrified. She'd better be okay...

So, as a way of tribute to Izzy, as she is exposing hers, I'll be exposing my upper-mouth-plate-thing-y as well.

TMI Tuesday (on Wednesday) II

1. Describe your first kiss.
It was at a summer program at the University of Idaho two summers ago. I had been dating a girl from the program since about the second week we were there, and we had been dating for about two or three weeks. For about a week before she kept giving me notes about how bad she wanted to kiss me while in certain rooms, and she tried telling me to kiss her a while before while we were on a ferris wheel, but I totally froze and didn't kiss her. I told her that I had never kissed anyone before, so she said she'd help me out.. Finally we got some time alone, and she asked if she could kiss me, and then she did. Well, after I answered yes, of course. She actually gave me a quick lesson beforehand lol. Man, that sounds like a very feminine first kiss experience doesn't it? Hehe... I started that sentence with "man". I love irony.

2. Should a person's pubic hair be trimmed, shaved, or just grown out as the jungle God intended it to be?
Trimmed is preferable, although I have no problem at all with a full grown forest down there.

3. What's the best super-hero comic book movie ever made?
Daredevil, by far. A blind superhero is the most bad-ass you can possibly get in one single man.

4. Coke or Pepsi?
Pepsi, although if you get a chance to get it in a glass bottle, Coke wins by far.

5. Have you ever been caught masturbating?
Not once. I am a ninja.

6. Which way do you lean your head when going for a kiss?
Whichever way I please! I will not be oppressed!

7. Jockstraps, sexy or no?
... I hate how these are aimed at women, but you know what? I'm going to answer anyways, because I rock like that. Sexy, definitely. It shows that a man is sensitive enough to put himself at risk, but has enough foresight to protect himself as well.

Bonus (as in optional): Have you ever used the excuse, "Oh, I was so drunk that night, I don't remember a THING!"

Straight edge for life! And don't you forget it.