The Big Let-Down

In a drastically uncharacteristic move, I am going to contradict myself. I am sorry for those of you (by which I mean all of you [by which I mean my one reader]) who view me as solid, and steadfastly steadfast. I do hope that I don't shatter your positive outlook on life with my bold-faced hypocrisy.

The contradiction, actually, is this post; which is in contradiction to my previous post about the pointlessness of this blog. *shrugs* A man can change his mind! Don't judge me!

All right, so after I started writing this, I realized I actually don't have anything to say... so... instead... just imagine me doing a tap-dance. Yeah, that's it; that should keep you busy long enough for a quick escape-I mean entertain you.

Yaaaaay *trails off*!

-Lucious

TMI Tuesday (on Wednesday) X

 

1. What is one thing your significant other could do to you to rock your world?

Become superman, I guess. Well, supergirl, if you want to get into semantics. I can't see Izzy as being able to rock any planet, let alone Earth (no offense hon).

Okay, now this is troubling. Apparently "superman" is in my spellcheck dictionary, but "supergirl" is not. Sexist pigs. I'm adding it now.

2. Which super power (ability to turn invisible, ability to read people’s thoughts, or invulnerability) would you take and why?

I would have the ability to turn invisible. Screw invulnerability. That's only good in death-defying type situations, most of which could be dodged using invisibility anyway. But in your spare time, in which you're not fighting to survive, it could also be used for pranks, as well as just overall shenaniganeries. Also, I think the ability to read thoughts would just get obnoxious after a while. Well, if it worked like in What Women Want. Why in the hell I'm basing my superhero powers descriptions on a Mel Gibson movie, I have no idea, but that's what I'm doin', so STEP OFF!

3. Would you rather be tied up or tie someone else up? Why?

All of the above. Both parties tied up... Mmm mmm... that's the stuff right there. Just sit there and imagine what you could do to the other, BUT CAN'T! Makes it all the better, the suspense.

4. What is your best physical and non-physical asset?

Best physical asset? Probably my fingers. I use those for playing guitar, and typing lightning-quick. Oh, and the ladies find them mesmerizing.

Non-physical? Most likely my man-mystique.

5. If they were naming new Dwarves beyond the seven what would your name be and why?

Okay, first off, who in the hell would pick me to be an extra dwarf? I'm 6' 5" for crap's sake.

I guess then, if somebody did, that'd make me "Tall-y" or "Not-actually-dwarf-y". Possibly even "What-the-hell-were-we-thinking-y".

Bonus: What’s the most embarrassing thing you ever bought?

I stole some personal lubricant once, although that technically wasn't buying, and I feel obligated (by way of my fragile male ego) to tell you that I stole it for somebody else, and not for personal use.

So, basically, this blog is pointless.

At this point in time I have no readers except my girlfriend, and my girlfriend (who as previously stated is my only reader) has no internet access. Also, in addition to these factors, is that nothing worth writing about ever happens to me anymore.

My life is pointless... and by life I mean blog.

 

Lucious

TMI Tuesday (on Wednesday) IX

1. What did you eat for dinner yesterday?

I had half a crab (with loads of garlic butter), garlic bread, and a salad.

2. How much cash is in your purse/wallet right now?

Exactly $0.00.

3. What have you done to avoid being flirted with by someone you didn’t like?

I just kind of laugh and move on. That generally works.

4. Do you believe the theory “Once a cheater always a cheater”?

I think it depends on the person. Some people should not be allowed to claim to be in a relationship, but others just make really, really stupid decisions. I think though that after twice they're not worth your time.

5. Describe your sex life in two words.

Gigantic penis.

Bonus: Would you/have you ever paid money for sex?

I have not, and also never would. It's too risky STD wise etc. Just not worth my time. Plus I'm stone-cold sexy, so I doubt I'd ever need to. I think that I could get a prostitute to sleep with me for free if I wanted to. She'd ask if she could pay ME.