Damn school and it's obligations... I'm stuck up here until like 9:00 or so, maybe later, because I have to help with layout for the paper. I have absolutely nothing to do until like 5:30, when I have to give a guitar lesson to a friend's brother.

I feel like I have some kind of school work I could be doing, but I can't remember anything in particular. I have to give a presentation on a King Arthur story on Friday, but mostly I don't want to deal with it right now, so I won't. I also have an ass-ton of reading to be doing, but I'm not going to do that either. He gave us a study guide for the quiz we'll be having, and he takes the quiz q's right off of the study guides, so there's really no point in doing anything besides looking up the study guide answers. Don't look at me like that! It really is an ass-ton of reading. It's super dull history-type stuff too. I also need to figure out a subject for a persuasive speech... I have no idea what I'm going to do. Luckily it's not due until next Wednesday, so I think I'll be all right.

*sigh*

In other news, my father was going to move up to Eugene for a while to help work on a house, because he's really not finding any work here. He was going to be working up there 4 days a week, and sleeping on the floors of the building while he was up there. It was going to run until probably right around Christmas. This was all sad and such, beings he would not be here with us, but he ended up not getting the job. The people who offered it to him backed out at the last minute and picked somebody else, even though they had already given it to him. So my mother is happier (she was crying this morning, aww, they really do still love each other), but that also means that we don't have that boosted income coming in (they were going to be paying him 25 dollars an hour).

So, in conclusion, life sucks. Waaaaa... (wait, this isn't a livejournal blog)

So, in conclusion, your face
Lucious Ash

Oblama FTW!?

Obama won bitches! I am psyched, and I hope that you are too. I honestly was worried that he wouldn't make it, and am still a little worried that he'll be assassinated, but all is good for now and we have a president who represents a nice change of pace for our country. I know that I'll be particularly looking forward to hearing a head of state that can actually speak when addressing the nation, and doesn't stutter through his cue cards.

So cheers to all you who voted Obama,
Lucious

Dandies and magical ROCKIN'!

For all you poor saps who missed it (although my one potential viewer at the moment was there with me), here's a little taste:

Sunday, October 5, 2008. The date that will go down in history as the greatest day of my life. Okay, so it's probably not going to be important enough to make it into the Houghton Mifflin recollection of history, but it's certainly going down in my personal history books. Well, digital book... since it's a blog...

*clears throat*

FUCKIN' DANDIES BITCHES!

Later I'll finish the account, since I want to start blogging again to help me get in the habit of writing for my publishing lab, and I'll probably post a picture of my bad-ass shirt that I got. I actually didn't like it at first, but I love it now. Mostly because it's evidence of me being at the best concert ever. Until then, ciaos!

P.S.
You can totally see me rocking out in the video. On the far left, right in front of the stage, there are two really tall people with long hair in front of Zia (the keyboardist). I'm the one on the left, hardcore rockin' out.

Moth Threesome

Not a rock band name, as first comes to mind. No, "moth threesome" is an actual, real-life, in reality event that I have just witnessed. No joke. Glancing about my bathroom mid-urination I happen to see what looks like a strange caterpillar weaving its way up the wall next to my toilet. Upon closer inspection, precariously leaning closer to the wall and further toward the edge of the toilet, I realize that this is not one, but three creatures in a presumably kinky conga-line of orgasmia. I can not even begin to describe the level of surprise and/or arousal that I felt after experiencing this sight. It was truly mind expanding, and I wish that you could have experienced it as well. But alas, only I have... I am like Buddha reaching his enlightenment. I shall call my religion Mothgasmia, and my ceremonies will consist entirely of orgies modeled after the Father-mother-mother moth. Oooh... what sexes were these moths? It entices the mind!

Lucious Ash

God is Not a Republican!

It's official. iGod told me so. Here is an actual transcript:

Human: what do you think of george bush?
God: he is President of the United States.
Human: Do you like George Bush?
God: he He is okay but I am a not a Republican.
Human: are you a democrat?
God: No I am a .

Apparently, God is either an independent, or a member of the Space Party. I always knew the republicans were wrong.

[Update]

Apparently, God is also an American hating robot, as seen in the following excerpt:

Human: Is the united states your favorite country?
God: If it is, then I'll be very surprised.
Human: What is your favorite country?
God: That is a politically charged question. Robots don't need passports, so I can go to any country. I was originally created in the United States.

This One's For the Ladies (TMI Tuesday [on Wednesday] XII)

Well, one lady in particular: My lady. I miss her a ridiculous amount right now, and I really wish I could see her (hopefully today, and definitely Saturday, so yay!). Here ya go babe. Sorry I'm not exciting enough to have legit answers to all of these :P.

1. In the midst of a hangover have you ever promised to "never drink again?" How long until you broke that vow?

No Hangovers yet! Well... no more drinking since the previous post on drinking either... I honestly don't know what to think about that.

2. What is the stupidest thing you have ever done while drinking (or not if it is really stupid) but thought it seemed like a good idea at the time?

Got bitchy because people weren't watching Mitch Hedberg. He really is funny though, and I honestly just wanted people to be entertained.

3. On a scale of 1-10, where do you rate green beer?

...? Question mark is within 1-10, right? It's gotta be...

4. Have you ever kissed someone you shouldn't have (drunk or sober)?

I kissed someone I should be kissing right now. Valid answer? No? WELL TOO BAD!

5. What is the stupidest thing you have ever seen a drunk do (besides driving a car)?

Probably sleep with me (Oh burn!). But seriously, probably chasing me around the house trying to grope my penis. That was really starting to get ridiculous. Entertaining, but ridiculous.

There you go, honey. TMI! Woot!

Procrastination

What-ho! Onward to relatively productive procrastination! A World Lit. take home midterm and a draft/set of peer critiques for a WR122 paper lie on the floor, both due on the morrow, and I am refusing to do them at the moment. I have to leave for work in a mere thirty minutes and while I wasted away today, and the free time last evening, on meaningless things, I feel confident in my decision to spend the rest of the time I have before work the same way. I'm too busy groovin' to The Zombies for schoolwork.

I was called this morning at about eleven o'clock and told that I was needed to come in to work at my top-notch dishwashing job at the Shipyard restaurant (bringing in a lucrative seven ninety-five an hour) at three thirty. Problems: 1. Short notice 2. I have been royally screwed by them, and while I appreciate the work when I can get it, they seem to feel that I am obligated to come in with little notice.

Short story time! I am passively employed at the moment, passively being not by choice but by douche-y, yet strangely understandable, business practices. The Shipyard is going downhill. Fast. So the owners decided that beginning this January through mid-February they would be closing down weekday dinners. "Yippee!" I think to myself when told this information (less than a week before New Years) "My job is mostly weekends, I am safe." But alas, karma gave me the dreaded "shut up bitch!" right in the face, and here I sit, my weekend hours given to the shunted senior employees at the Shipyard. *looks at calendar* headed towards mid-February, but no word yet!

So, in the interest of being able to continue my education (I have a thirty minute commute to school) I am putting up with their shit, and holding on to this job for my dear life, because there are few better employment opportunities in my area. I have become quite attached to my co-workers as well, which helps me actually enjoy my crappy, crappy job. But, the reserves in my bank account have sagged to just above the two hundred mark, and so if tonight they tell me there will be no regular hours soon, the job hunt begins! *shivers from excitement*

*grooves to "The Crystal Ship"*

Enough sad news (I have plenty more locked away for future entries, so don't you worry). The front lines of my life are making some progress on the not-being-terrified-of-people front, in the form of new friends and intellectually fulfilling conversations with instructors, and the broadening experiences front, as seen in the previous entry, so there is happiness abound as well. Plus, Izzy is absolutely amazing.

*light-rocks out to "Soul Kitchen"*

Lucious Ash

*swaggers*

I have spent a lifetime feeling fear and general hatred towards the stuff, but I finally sucked it up and drank some damn alcohol. Stories aplenty were violently thrown into my memory banks for later recollection--many hilarious, some a little extra rawr--but none of which, regardless of quality or worthiness of retelling, are appropriate to recount to my mother. So in the interest of a clean and relatively easy blog post (I'm feeling quite sleepy this evening), I shall present to you the work I am calling, "A Series of Lists Pertaining to Alcohol Consumption; Present Size Accounted for by Tainted Memory".

Positives

1. Uber-horny uber-babe Izzy.
2. Socks+hardwood floors+decreased sense of balance/mobility ability=hilarity.
3. First chance I have ever seen a single pant worn quite that proudly.
4. Surprising amount of nudity.
5. Increased understanding of the issue in general.
6. Manly feelings for my superior tolerance of alcohol-taste.
7. Spinning bar-chairs have never held as much entertainment.
8. Boyfriend (of Izzy's friend) no longer hates me (Jackson five for male bonding!).
9. Extreme fellating of smirnoff bottles, by all parties involved.
10. Back massage/straddling by Izzy (score!).

Negatives

1. Socks+hardwood floors+decreased sense of balance/mobility ability=asshurt.
2. Wasted alcohol by way of crappy preparation of appletinis(+whiny participants/lazy me). Come on now, there are sober children in India to think of!
3. Extreme possibility of rape by Izzy's friend, who is apparently a Lucious Ash-penis fanatic.
4. Realization that Izzy only likes pussy drinks, therefor voiding my previously uber-man perceptions of her.
5. Why so much with the urination?
6. My lips are so dry...
7. Tippsies prevented most parties involved from appreciating the genius comedy of Mitch Hedburg.
8. Comedy Central Presents theme song playing repeatedly in the background.
9. Exhaustion.
10. Alcohol+Izzy=super bitchy about the fact that I just ate popcorn chicken, therefor my mouth is not worth kissing :P
11. Most parties too restless to finish A Scanner Darkly.

Favourite things to do whilst inebriated

1. Izzy
2. Spin in circles
3. Not-run
4. Stand up after sitting for long periods of time
5. Drink delicious appley-things

Least favourite things that I was forced to do whilst inebriated

1. Fear for innocence-violation from friend of Izzy
2. Shots (although truthfully, this was mostly neutral)
3. Fall down
4. Resist Izzy's numerous (and quite forward) advances in public

Note: For this entry I had to add "appletinis" and "asshurt" to my spellcheck dictionary, which are things I never thought I would have to do...

Possibly more anecdotes to come! (but don't count on it, because they're really pointless since the only reader I have was present)

TMI Tuesday (on Wednesday) XI

1. Would you stay in a relationship with a physically unfaithful partner?

If it was a one-time, regretful mistake sort of thing, probably, but if it was a deliberate and repeated thing, then no.

2. Would you stay in a relationship with an emotionally unfaithful partner?

That is a tough one. It would entirely depend on the individual situation.

3. On a scale of 1-10, how important is the recognition of birthdays to you (your's, a friend's, a partner's)?

Remembering it's my (or somebody else's) birthday: 10.

Huge huzzah about said birthday: 4 or so.

4. When you have a "toe-curling" orgasm, do your toes curl up, or down?

Down I believe... although I'm not sure if they've even ever curled. You know what I just thought of though? Usually your eyes scrunch up, at least a little, but wouldn't it be funny if there was a large population of people whose eyes shot open as they orgasmed? All of a sudden they just look really, really surprised. Then you wouldn't know if you knelt on their liver on accident or something, and you'd feel all bad and stop, and then it'd be all ruined... scrunching is a good thing. I like scrunching.

5. Every one has a pet peeve, tell me one of yours.

People who work at a store, but don't ever want to actually do their job, and then get angry at you when you expect them to.

Bonus (as in optional):Name someone famous who you have no sexual interest in but would have sex with just to brag about it.

Rosie Odonnell for sure. Nobody would ever believe me. Ever.

:(

I wish I had somebody to vent to... somebody who I could call in the A.M. hours when shit goes wrong in my life... I need to make some actual friends...