Procrastination

What-ho! Onward to relatively productive procrastination! A World Lit. take home midterm and a draft/set of peer critiques for a WR122 paper lie on the floor, both due on the morrow, and I am refusing to do them at the moment. I have to leave for work in a mere thirty minutes and while I wasted away today, and the free time last evening, on meaningless things, I feel confident in my decision to spend the rest of the time I have before work the same way. I'm too busy groovin' to The Zombies for schoolwork.

I was called this morning at about eleven o'clock and told that I was needed to come in to work at my top-notch dishwashing job at the Shipyard restaurant (bringing in a lucrative seven ninety-five an hour) at three thirty. Problems: 1. Short notice 2. I have been royally screwed by them, and while I appreciate the work when I can get it, they seem to feel that I am obligated to come in with little notice.

Short story time! I am passively employed at the moment, passively being not by choice but by douche-y, yet strangely understandable, business practices. The Shipyard is going downhill. Fast. So the owners decided that beginning this January through mid-February they would be closing down weekday dinners. "Yippee!" I think to myself when told this information (less than a week before New Years) "My job is mostly weekends, I am safe." But alas, karma gave me the dreaded "shut up bitch!" right in the face, and here I sit, my weekend hours given to the shunted senior employees at the Shipyard. *looks at calendar* headed towards mid-February, but no word yet!

So, in the interest of being able to continue my education (I have a thirty minute commute to school) I am putting up with their shit, and holding on to this job for my dear life, because there are few better employment opportunities in my area. I have become quite attached to my co-workers as well, which helps me actually enjoy my crappy, crappy job. But, the reserves in my bank account have sagged to just above the two hundred mark, and so if tonight they tell me there will be no regular hours soon, the job hunt begins! *shivers from excitement*

*grooves to "The Crystal Ship"*

Enough sad news (I have plenty more locked away for future entries, so don't you worry). The front lines of my life are making some progress on the not-being-terrified-of-people front, in the form of new friends and intellectually fulfilling conversations with instructors, and the broadening experiences front, as seen in the previous entry, so there is happiness abound as well. Plus, Izzy is absolutely amazing.

*light-rocks out to "Soul Kitchen"*

Lucious Ash

*swaggers*

I have spent a lifetime feeling fear and general hatred towards the stuff, but I finally sucked it up and drank some damn alcohol. Stories aplenty were violently thrown into my memory banks for later recollection--many hilarious, some a little extra rawr--but none of which, regardless of quality or worthiness of retelling, are appropriate to recount to my mother. So in the interest of a clean and relatively easy blog post (I'm feeling quite sleepy this evening), I shall present to you the work I am calling, "A Series of Lists Pertaining to Alcohol Consumption; Present Size Accounted for by Tainted Memory".

Positives

1. Uber-horny uber-babe Izzy.
2. Socks+hardwood floors+decreased sense of balance/mobility ability=hilarity.
3. First chance I have ever seen a single pant worn quite that proudly.
4. Surprising amount of nudity.
5. Increased understanding of the issue in general.
6. Manly feelings for my superior tolerance of alcohol-taste.
7. Spinning bar-chairs have never held as much entertainment.
8. Boyfriend (of Izzy's friend) no longer hates me (Jackson five for male bonding!).
9. Extreme fellating of smirnoff bottles, by all parties involved.
10. Back massage/straddling by Izzy (score!).

Negatives

1. Socks+hardwood floors+decreased sense of balance/mobility ability=asshurt.
2. Wasted alcohol by way of crappy preparation of appletinis(+whiny participants/lazy me). Come on now, there are sober children in India to think of!
3. Extreme possibility of rape by Izzy's friend, who is apparently a Lucious Ash-penis fanatic.
4. Realization that Izzy only likes pussy drinks, therefor voiding my previously uber-man perceptions of her.
5. Why so much with the urination?
6. My lips are so dry...
7. Tippsies prevented most parties involved from appreciating the genius comedy of Mitch Hedburg.
8. Comedy Central Presents theme song playing repeatedly in the background.
9. Exhaustion.
10. Alcohol+Izzy=super bitchy about the fact that I just ate popcorn chicken, therefor my mouth is not worth kissing :P
11. Most parties too restless to finish A Scanner Darkly.

Favourite things to do whilst inebriated

1. Izzy
2. Spin in circles
3. Not-run
4. Stand up after sitting for long periods of time
5. Drink delicious appley-things

Least favourite things that I was forced to do whilst inebriated

1. Fear for innocence-violation from friend of Izzy
2. Shots (although truthfully, this was mostly neutral)
3. Fall down
4. Resist Izzy's numerous (and quite forward) advances in public

Note: For this entry I had to add "appletinis" and "asshurt" to my spellcheck dictionary, which are things I never thought I would have to do...

Possibly more anecdotes to come! (but don't count on it, because they're really pointless since the only reader I have was present)