The Surprisingly Again Retired Life of One Lucious Ash

2008-11-12T14:47:00.000-08:00

Damn school and it's obligations... I'm stuck up here until like 9:00 or so, maybe later, because I have to help with layout for the paper. I have absolutely nothing to do until like 5:30, when I have to give a guitar lesson to a friend's brother.I feel like I have some kind of school work I could be doing, but I can't remember anything in particular. I have to give a presentation on a King

Oblama FTW!?

2008-11-05T14:35:00.000-08:00

Obama won bitches! I am psyched, and I hope that you are too. I honestly was worried that he wouldn't make it, and am still a little worried that he'll be assassinated, but all is good for now and we have a president who represents a nice change of pace for our country. I know that I'll be particularly looking forward to hearing a head of state that can actually speak when addressing the nation,

Dandies and magical ROCKIN'!

2008-10-08T00:25:00.000-07:00

For all you poor saps who missed it (although my one potential viewer at the moment was there with me), here's a little taste:Sunday, October 5, 2008. The date that will go down in history as the greatest day of my life. Okay, so it's probably not going to be important enough to make it into the Houghton Mifflin recollection of history, but it's certainly going down in my personal history books.

Moth Threesome

2008-04-08T23:41:00.000-07:00

Not a rock band name, as first comes to mind. No, "moth threesome" is an actual, real-life, in reality event that I have just witnessed. No joke. Glancing about my bathroom mid-urination I happen to see what looks like a strange caterpillar weaving its way up the wall next to my toilet. Upon closer inspection, precariously leaning closer to the wall and further toward the edge of the toilet, I

God is Not a Republican!

2008-03-25T14:30:00.000-07:00

It's official. iGod told me so. Here is an actual transcript:Human: what do you think of george bush?God: he is President of the United States. Human: Do you like George Bush?God: he He is okay but I am a not a Republican. Human: are you a democrat?God: No I am a .Apparently, God is either an independent, or a member of the Space Party. I always knew the republicans were wrong.[Update]Apparently

This One's For the Ladies (TMI Tuesday [on Wednesday] XII)

2008-03-19T00:07:00.001-07:00

Well, one lady in particular: My lady. I miss her a ridiculous amount right now, and I really wish I could see her (hopefully today, and definitely Saturday, so yay!). Here ya go babe. Sorry I'm not exciting enough to have legit answers to all of these :P. 1. In the midst of a hangover have you ever promised to "never drink again?" How long until you broke that vow? No Hangovers yet! Well...

Procrastination

2008-02-10T15:14:00.001-08:00

What-ho! Onward to relatively productive procrastination! A World Lit. take home midterm and a draft/set of peer critiques for a WR122 paper lie on the floor, both due on the morrow, and I am refusing to do them at the moment. I have to leave for work in a mere thirty minutes and while I wasted away today, and the free time last evening, on meaningless things, I feel confident in my decision to

swaggers

2008-02-09T22:34:00.001-08:00

I have spent a lifetime feeling fear and general hatred towards the stuff, but I finally sucked it up and drank some damn alcohol. Stories aplenty were violently thrown into my memory banks for later recollection--many hilarious, some a little extra rawr--but none of which, regardless of quality or worthiness of retelling, are appropriate to recount to my mother. So in the interest of a clean and

TMI Tuesday (on Wednesday) XI

2008-01-29T21:51:00.001-08:00

1. Would you stay in a relationship with a physically unfaithful partner? If it was a one-time, regretful mistake sort of thing, probably, but if it was a deliberate and repeated thing, then no. 2. Would you stay in a relationship with an emotionally unfaithful partner? That is a tough one. It would entirely depend on the individual situation. 3. On a scale of 1-10, how important

:(

2008-01-15T00:09:00.001-08:00

I wish I had somebody to vent to... somebody who I could call in the A.M. hours when shit goes wrong in my life... I need to make some actual friends...

Never Take a Sharpie with you Everywhere...

2007-12-04T23:29:00.000-08:00

because this is what happens: Yes, -nods in a manner demanding sympathy- that is my knee. Oddly enough, it just happens to coincide with HNT, so I might as well post it as that as well! Yay!

Mr. Happy says "IF YOU’RE GOING OUT (OR IN), ALWAYS WEAR YOUR BEST HAT."

2007-11-28T20:46:00.001-08:00

This blows my mind. Yes, that is a condom, and yes, that is the Wal*Mart smiley with a condom hat. And also, again, yes, the quote above is actually from www.mrhappyshat.com. I also rather childishly feel giddy at the fact that the website name, with its improper punctuation, spells out "Mr. Happy Shat". According to the site, People were asked: “If you had the opportunity, would you

Look kids, it's silly poem time! child-like exclamations of joy

2007-11-27T20:40:00.001-08:00

I am Mad I am mad Much like dad. Now I'm sad... Oh No! There's a...Oh No! There's a thing over there! Oh no! Can you tell what it is Johnny? Neither can I. Let's go inside. The Final Frontier -Lucious

Circly Circlesons

2007-11-24T23:12:00.001-08:00

This is a page from my new "Journal", which is technically a book, called Wreck This Journal. It a journal that's blank for the most part, but has instructions on each page, like the one above, that direct you through the process of wrecking the journal (unexpected, right?). I'm hoping it helps me get over some of my OCD stuff because it has pages like "Crack the spine of this book", "Burn

Oh How Dastardly this Dreary Distance Betwixt Us! (written in patented arbitrary, yet delightfully non-poetic, free-verse)

2007-11-24T00:17:00.001-08:00

I miss my darling sunshine. It has been quite some time since our last meeting. Quite some time more since we have spent an extended amount of time with each other. This saddens me. I hope to see her again soon, but I have no idea when. Or how. In different, but equally (nearly) terrible news my gum hurts. Not the entire gum, but rather just a portion between two

MIDI Controller Wha?

2007-11-19T22:57:00.001-08:00

Damnit to all lack of previous credit history! I have been havin' a hankerin' for some good ol' computer generated synth-instrumental goodness, but alas I have no MIDI keyboard. *heaves large sigh* I found the MIDI controller of my dreams online, but when I went to apply for financing (for I have not $129.99), it said they couldn't do it because I have insufficient credit history. Don't even give

My Secret Weapon

2007-11-16T23:24:00.001-08:00

These are my little books of majesty. I am in love with these little pocketbooks. I stumbled across them first about a year and a half ago, when I bought a crappy harmonica and the sales clerk threw a "how to play harmonica" one in. I never thought much else about them, until me and some friends were in a fantastic guitar store up north and we stumbled across them right across the way from

For your viewing pleasure

2007-11-12T22:58:00.001-08:00

here is a picture of my uber-hot girlfriend; kissing a dog skeleton. A FUCKING DOG SKELETON! Blows your boyfriend and/or girlfriend's mind! And yours! Both your minds! What's that I just heard? Was that your penis and/or vagina exploding? I JUST BLEW BOTH YOUR HEADS (and/or not-head, but genitalia none-the-less)! You hermaphrodite bitches. Now that that's out of the way, I am sorry for your

Ooheey! Posting wha?!

2007-11-11T13:46:00.001-08:00

In an effort to blog and write more I have decided that I am going to start forcing myself to write an entry every single day, whether or not I actually have something to say. The quality may be sub-par but hell, it can't be much worse than when I spend time on it, so why the hell not? For this first, groundbreaking entry I am going to show you all an aerial view of my home. Yes, that's right,

The Big Let-Down

2007-09-20T16:10:00.001-07:00

In a drastically uncharacteristic move, I am going to contradict myself. I am sorry for those of you (by which I mean all of you [by which I mean my one reader]) who view me as solid, and steadfastly steadfast. I do hope that I don't shatter your positive outlook on life with my bold-faced hypocrisy. The contradiction, actually, is this post; which is in contradiction to my previous post about

TMI Tuesday (on Wednesday) X

2007-09-19T15:53:00.001-07:00

1. What is one thing your significant other could do to you to rock your world? Become superman, I guess. Well, supergirl, if you want to get into semantics. I can't see Izzy as being able to rock any planet, let alone Earth (no offense hon). Okay, now this is troubling. Apparently "superman" is in my spellcheck dictionary, but "supergirl" is not. Sexist pigs. I'm adding it now. 2.

So, basically, this blog is pointless.

2007-09-15T00:11:00.001-07:00

At this point in time I have no readers except my girlfriend, and my girlfriend (who as previously stated is my only reader) has no internet access. Also, in addition to these factors, is that nothing worth writing about ever happens to me anymore. My life is pointless... and by life I mean blog. Lucious

TMI Tuesday (on Wednesday) IX

2007-09-05T19:56:00.000-07:00

1. What did you eat for dinner yesterday? I had half a crab (with loads of garlic butter), garlic bread, and a salad. 2. How much cash is in your purse/wallet right now? Exactly $0.00. 3. What have you done to avoid being flirted with by someone you didn’t like? I just kind of laugh and move on. That generally works. 4. Do you believe the theory “Once a cheater always a cheater”? I think it

TMI Tuesday (on Wednesday) VIII

2007-08-15T21:02:00.000-07:00

1. Define "infidelity" as it relates to a relationship. Have you ever been guilty of infidelity? Have you ever been the victim of infidelity? Have you ever been a participant in someone else's infidelity?I have not ever been guilty of infidelity, or the victim of infidelity... or participated in infidelity of any sort. My life is so dull. One of my ex-girlfriends fell for another guy while on the

TMI Tuesday (on Wednesday) VII

2007-08-07T21:28:00.000-07:00

1. What is the worst/corniest pick up line someone has used on you and/or you used?Never. Answers both options. Well, not with proper grammar, but I think it gives the proper idea.2. Have you ever gone out on a date with someone and went home with someone else? Explain.I don't think I've ever officially been on a date. At least, not one in which I pick somebody up, take them someplace, and then

Random blog-ness

2007-08-05T22:44:00.000-07:00

I have grown increasingly aware of the fact that I no longer write; not just in this blog, but anywhere at all. I used to write quite prolifically. I used to have dreams of being a famous writer, with my own column in a newspaper of magazine, or a famous poet, or just of writing for myself at least. I used to be quite good. I am no longer.I'm rusty. Rustier than I think I have ever been at

TMI Tuesday (on Wednesday) VI

2007-08-01T08:49:00.000-07:00

1. Toilet paper: over, under, or what the hell are you talking about?Over, for sure. Under people are douches. For sure.2. Toilet when you are done: everything up, seat down but lid up, everything down?Seat down, lid up. Enough consideration for men who have to pee very badly, without enough time to lift a seat, but also keeps women from falling into toilets.3. When was the last time you kissed

Jiffy Pop Madness

2007-07-28T22:26:00.000-07:00

Jiffy pop was given to mankind directly from Lucifer himself. No way could a human mind conceive of such torture...Fun to pop my ass...

:(

2007-07-28T16:44:00.001-07:00

She's going to break up with me. I can't even joke around with her like we usually do without it grating on her nerves. We're not going to survive a week of not talking. She's going to realize that I'm not worth it anymore, and leave. She's going to see how much happier her life is without me, and she's going to be gone.

TMI Tuesday (on Wednesday) V (Wednesday in Europe version)

2007-07-25T20:14:00.000-07:00

1. Leather, lace or silk?Lace, by far. Silk is too slippery, and leather is too cow-y, although the latter is best for bondage situations I suppose.2. Do you subscribe (or regularly buy) to any "dirty" magazines? Which ones?I think that I would be too self-conscious to ever buy a single magazine, let alone make regular purchases or subscriptions. Besides that, I actually don't have a desire to..

TMI Tuesday (on Wednesday) IV

2007-07-17T23:21:00.000-07:00

1. What's the sexiest type of underwear?Whatever Izzy happens to have on at the moment... although the nothing kind is preferable. :P2. Would you/have you ever paid money for sex?I wouldn't and haven't. I actually don't think that there's anything inherently wrong with the practice, I just don't think it would be my cup of STD.3. Is facial/body hair sexy or no? (Moustache, chest, etc. for men,

...

2007-07-13T00:33:00.000-07:00

There are far too many flies in my home at the moment. It's insane. They are invading my living space, and although I don't notice them most of the time (on account of accustomization), sometimes they really start to piss me off.They come from a pond we have in our front yard. It's kind of two-tiered, made from a coffin liner sunk into the ground, and then at the head of that earth-indentation,

TMI Tuesday (on Wednesday) III

2007-07-11T22:25:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the first TMI in which I can actually answer ALL of the questions. Excellent!1. Who was your childhood hero?My mother has always been my hero, which I realize sounds so terribly cliched, but it's the truth. She had me when she was really young, and in a terrible situation, but she did a tremendous job of pulling herself out of it and into a better place in her life for me. It took a

HNT Tribute

2007-07-05T12:50:00.000-07:00

My love is in surgery right this very moment. It's a complex procedure, that basically involves them removing the top plate of her mouth entirely out of her head, fixing it, then placing it back.I am terrified. I don't honestly know how I would handle her dying. The realization of the possibility hadn't really sunk in until this morning when she called at 6:30 to tell me that she was leaving for

TMI Tuesday (on Wednesday) II

2007-07-04T21:11:00.000-07:00

1. Describe your first kiss.It was at a summer program at the University of Idaho two summers ago. I had been dating a girl from the program since about the second week we were there, and we had been dating for about two or three weeks. For about a week before she kept giving me notes about how bad she wanted to kiss me while in certain rooms, and she tried telling me to kiss her a while before

Fruit-flavored Cocaine?!?! Count me in!

2007-06-28T18:31:00.000-07:00

Holy shit! I'm starting my cocaine addiction today! This whole time, I've been thinking that there was only one negative aspect about it; it did not appeal to my sweet tooth. But hell, now that I can get my blow fruit flavored, the only thing stopping me now is waiting for them to come out with watermelon!In the article (just click "cocaine", in case you didn't figure that one out on your own),

TMI Tuesday (on Wednesday) I

2007-06-27T16:31:00.000-07:00

I didn't do this for a long time because I figured it was mostly aimed at women (especially looking at some of the questions they ask), but then I realized nobody reads this blog anyways. That, and I don't care. It's something to do. So, without further ado, I present to you "TMI Tuesday (on Wednesday)".1. Does the carpet match the drapes?I don't have drapes in my house...2. Have you ever used

There's a time and place for everything...

2007-06-26T21:11:00.000-07:00

and here happens to be the time, and place, for me to tell you all a little secret about myself. I've kept this to myself for a very long time, but I think it's time that I reveal to the world what's been hiding deep inside my heart for so long. I know that a lot of people, especially my old best friend, will find what I have to say extremely surprising, maybe even shocking, but it has to be said

HNT/More bliss/glee

2007-06-21T21:02:00.000-07:00

The past two days have been very good, so as a celebration, here's my first ever HNT!*looks very happy*More blogging soon! (hopefully)Edit: Due to some attempted diffusing on Izzy's part as to the origin of these marks, I feel it necessary to point out that they are indeed caused by her mouth. Thank you, and I apologize for any confusion she has created.

BEWARE THE MAGIC!

2007-06-16T21:40:00.001-07:00

Attention all those that may be reading this! I have a new website. Go there! You can read the instructions on the site, but basically it's a way for me to be more creatively active, and I would love for you to send in some suggestions (again, read the site), and possibly pass the url on to everyone you can manage. I want to get busy makin' stuff! I appreciate all submissions.Thank you,Lucious Ash

bliss/glee

2007-06-14T21:28:00.001-07:00

Oh joy is my heart, whilst in the presence of my Izzy!*even more bliss/glee, in a totally manly way. Because I'm a man like that.*I know I don't write much anymore... Okay, at all anymore, but I am just so happy right now that I can not contain it.The day started out splendidly, wi-...I am so sorry, but I am far too exhausted to launch into one of my narratives at the moment, so instead, I will

The Origin of Hardware Store Sales Clerk Gil

2007-05-24T21:41:00.000-07:00

Here, for your reading pleasure, is a screenplay I wrote for my English class. Well, a section of a screenplay. The assignment was to make a film interpretation of a King Arthur legend. I chose the origin of Sir Galahad. This whole thing won't be nearly as interesting (if it's even interesting at all) if you don't already know a bit about the story, so if you don't, I suggest reading this first.

Segment from a Macbeth monologue

2007-05-03T21:12:00.000-07:00

Is this a dagger which I see before me,Handle toward my hand? Come, let me clutch thee.I have thee not, and yet I see thee still.Art thou not, fatal vision, sensibleTo feeling as to sight? Or art thoughBut a dagger of the mind, a false creation,Proceeding from the heat oppressed brain?I see thee yet, in form as palpableAs that which now I draw.Though marshall'st me the way I was going,And such an

A musical retrospective (also known as Rant #1)

2007-04-23T19:25:00.000-07:00

Quick disclaimer: I am using "classical" here as a generic term for most music before the early 1900's, before the advent of jazz. Before you get yourself all in a tizzy over how classical refers to a specific period of European musical history, just keep in mind that I am using this to refer to not only classical, but a wide range of early types of music, as well as most contemporary

My Visual DNA

2007-04-22T21:58:00.000-07:00

Here's what makes me tick; a visual representation of my concept of what matters.

Shit.

2007-04-22T14:26:00.000-07:00

My mother just said "Fuck you" to me. That's a first.

2007-04-19T20:49:00.000-07:00

Even a thought, even a possibility, can shatter us and transform us.Friedrich Nietzsche

A Very Bland Post About a Very Bland Subject

2007-04-18T19:34:00.000-07:00

There is a distinct and thorough lack of emotion running through my veins these days. I find as the weeks go by, I begin to care less and less about what's going on immediately around me. I don't quite understand why either.In just a few months I will barely be seeing my mother at all. It drives me nuts that we have to spend almost all of our time now fighting. It absolutely pisses me off, and

An Interview of One Lucious Ash

2007-04-12T21:10:00.000-07:00

This one's courtesy of my love, Izzy, who I'm not allowed to link here but I definitely would if I could.First, a few quick notes:I'm sorry Izzy, for taking so long to answerYes, I write an excessive amount for everything, but you can get over it because IT'S MY GODDAMN BLOG!Occasionally I snap, and I apologize to anybody who was offended by quick note #21) What's the most awkward situation

An Account of one Very Unhappy Dream

2007-04-11T07:31:00.000-07:00

Why is this the first dream that I can remember in the past year or so?Me, my mother, my father, and my sister are all in a car on a road trip. We're driving along some old highway through some mildly hill-y terrain, much like that in Idaho, for a couple hours, just enjoying the view. The entire time we sit in complete silence.We finally get somewhere. It's a fantastic view; an impressively tall,

Spring Break; Abridged.

2007-04-05T18:45:00.000-07:00

Oh thank Jesus almighty, school has started back up again.I have never been so happy in my entire life to go back to that damned place. Okay, okay, so it's not that bad, but it's sure as hell bad enough to need a break from. This time, however, the break did not treat me well. Okay, so overall it wasn't that terrible, but there was quite a bit to make me want social contact again.It started off

Disneyland-bred Philosophy

2007-03-31T18:43:00.001-07:00

No, not the theme park, but rather the world of Disney cartoon characters. It's amazing what little, seemingly insignificant things you see throughout your day can do to your psyche.Just this morning I was watching a cartoon on the Disney channel (I believe it's called The Replacements, although

Sad Times in a Happy New Place or Happenstance Abounds!

2007-03-30T23:22:00.000-07:00

So, taking a cue from my love, Izzy, I'm starting anew, with a completely fresh blog. I've still got my old one on here, in case of a need for random perusal at a later time in my life, but this one's all new, starting fresh from here on out. I'm going to make an attempt to actually blog too. I was going to use Vox for this, but Blogger has always been good to me. Plus I like the thought that